Sunday, October 28, 2012
 Hi earthlings. I'mma backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. What did I do on Thursday? Hmms. Oh, stayed home in the morning and afternoon to study biology. Difficult yet interesting topic. Went to bath around 5 and went to meet my brother at Dhoby Ghaut at 615. I was late of course x: We went to eat first and went to Cathay starbucks. He read story book while I continue with my biology. Got handsome guyyyyyyyyyyyyys kekeke. Went home around 10plus. Wanted to go maple but end up watching BTOB's MTV Diary. LOL. Went in late, Zoe already slept. Wanwen also going to sleep so I switched off. Friday, it's a public holiday! Woke up, prepare and went to eat lunch with my whole family. Cool hur. Eaten and went to Dhoby Ghaut walk walk. It's been so long ever since we went out as a whole family. Heart-warming. Parents went off around 4plus and my elder brother went home. My second elder brother and I went to Cathay starbucks again to do the same thing. This time I studied Geography. My most hated subject. So why did I take it? I do not like History more LOL. History requires too many memorising, and I hate to memorise, so yea. At least Geography more on nature, natural stuffs. Studied until around 8plus, we went to buy small foods back home to eat. Home and watch BTOB MTV diary. Kekeke. Peniel ; Shin Dong Geun, he is damn too adorable seriously. Melting ~~~~~~~ Around 12plus went to maple and play it with Wanwen and Zoe. They helped me with quest and then we went to pq. Er, ludi pq I think. That pq reminds me of when maple just started to have this place, Ludi. When maple was so damn hard to train. Kill a monster or so only get 0.01%, so hard to level. Anyway, the main point is, I used to wake up in the middle of the night with my brother just to do pq together. Because afternoon sure damn a lot people and it's so damn hard to go in. It's always midnight when it's clear at some channels. Ah, those days .. We played till 2am then we go sleep LOL. But I didn't sleep, I went to watch BTOB MTV Diary again HAHA. I miss my Peniel too muchyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. He grows up at USA leh. Kekeke. I watch until 4am then I sleep. Was suppose to wake up at 10am to go ecp with my brother. But I woke up at 11am and I'm still feeling damn sleepy and tired. I woke up, use comp awhile and went to ecp with my brother. I rent a bicycle, he skate. Well, he bought it by himself. For 3 hours, damn exhausted. In between we went to eat. After that we went home, bath, awhile later he say want go eat. I took bus to a place to eat dim sum. Er, I don't know where is it but it's somewhere near Dhoby Ghaut. Something bad happened. I spilled my drink. It wasn't my fault for not putting well, it's the table slippery! Tskkkkkkkk. Was embarrassed. >< Oh well. We took bus again and went to bugis to have a walk. Walk awhile and we took mrt home. Home, and I was watching 'Drag me to hell' on channel 5. That show was on movie when I was like, sec 2? Lol. Now showing don't know what yellow humans cartoon show. But I'm going to sleep? Or should I watch my Penieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel? ): Oh my god. There's nothing else I could type now. I only could type, I still miss him so badly. Sigh. I'm exhausted, don't wish to think so much. Both my arms and hands are red, sunburns I think. Grr. Can anyone just talk to me? My phone had been quiet these few days. Or maybe it's a good thing. Shall end here. Love you! Nights earthlings. , Peniel sweetieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Luv'luv'luv'luv'luv' ! Wednesday, October 24, 2012  Hi earthlings! Today feels like a Friday instead of Wednesday. Well, Monday night I forgotten what time did I slept. Yesterday morning woke up at 10plus(?). Wash up and trying to revise for Maths paper 1. Of course, TYS. I couldn't believe that I actually did TYS. It used to be so 'clean'. Until 12plus I went to prepare and head to school. Although it's only an hour left before paper starts but I still try to clarify doubts with Wanwen. Assemble, attendance, pray, and went to exam hall. Paper 1 was, so-so? A lot people say it's easy. I had about 3-4 questions left blank, damn it. I think I had a lot of wrongs too. Sigh. 230 was the paper, 2 hours, means, 430 end. After paper, came home, bath, check facebook, twitter, eat, of course, back to study. It's Maths paper 2 next. Was doing this year or past year mock exam paper 2. Until 10 I stopped. Watched 'In Cold Blood 2' on channel 5. It's about a guy having depression I think? He keep thinks that people around him are laughing at him, at his face with full of pimples. Because of that he actually killed a cop. No one is perfect. Neither am I, nor you. Don't judge, don't comment. They have flaws, I have flaws, so do you. So shut up. After watching that, we went to watch channel 8, 'Watch me grow'. About this girl in EM3. Yea, about judging too. People judge those EM3, NT students stupid, etc. She gotten all As for her N level. There is no stupid in the world, only lazy people. Please stop judging. Watched finish and I went to bed. I toss and turn and I just couldn't fall asleep, damn it. I forgotten what time I dozed off. Set alarm 730 wake up, end up I 745 then wake when I'm suppose to meet my friends in school at 8. Well, not because I purposely to be late. It's because I know my friends wouldn't reach at 8 sharp. Went out around 8plus. Reach school and my friends actually frighten me by jumping on my back. I didn't know they were behind me, I thought they already reached. Went up to class instead of canteen. Sat down and we wanted to buy drink. We went down to canteen and bought fruit juice. Took the lift up again. Zoe mouth unlucky uh. She say skali later stop at one of the floor and a teacher come in. The lift stops at 2nd floor right after she say that. I tried to hide of fruit juice and it's so awkward in the lift! HAHA, because of school rules of course. We're not suppose to bring sweet drinks out of canteen. We're not suppose to take the lift until 1pm. But luckily the teacher didn't say anything. Went in class, and ding dong, start work! Clarify many many doubts with Leah. She has been a great helper. Until around 11plus we went down to canteen to have breakfast plus lunch = Brunch. Whole load of school was at ISH. It's the last day of school for them though, well, for this year of course. Eaten and we went back to class to continue our work. Mrs Goh took lift to 6th floor too. Mrs Goh was my Sec 3, 4 math teacher. She's a great math teacher (: Since she's a math teacher, of course we so called 'use' her on our work LOL. Asked her quite many things too. Sadly she went off after awhile. It left only a few minutes before going to assembly. Asked Leah for some more questions and we went to assemble. Was feeling jittery >< 230 start paper, 2hours 30mins, 5 ended. Hmms, the paper was manageable, somehow. Thank god I had woke up early and revise with my friends. Of course, I want to thank Leah! She really helped me a lot, love herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! If not I think today I wouldn't be able to do my paper 2. I didn't do about three parts of the questions. I think I have a lot careless mistakes too ): Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh. Anyway, it's over. Two major papers are over. Next week is Combine Science and Combine Humans. Damn it. I'll work on my science more. Mentioning about science, my poor practicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal. SOB DIE SIAL. Came home after my paper. Bath, eat, and use comp all the way. I have been doing maths since morning till 5pm. Can you imagine how exhausted, how dizzy am I? Can you imagine how many of my brain cells had died? Omggggggggggggg. Even typing this, I feel so dizzy. Words, words, words. Tonight just try to sleep early and wake up tomorrow to study. At least no more papers for this week. 2 more weeks and I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm waiting for that day maaaaaaaaan. Dye hair, and of course, USS! HOHOHO KEKEKE. I'm so looking forward to it! Though I'm going for the first time with my brother instead of boyfriend, but I'm still overwhelming with joy! Is it boring because I didn't type how I'm feeling these few days? Hmms. Er, well, what else can I say? #foreveralone. I really envy so much of sweet couples. I wish to have one too. Who doesn't isn't it. My phone was always going no battery. Because it doesn't matter I charge or don't charge it, no one would text me. Well, I mean, my friends of course. But that only makes me keep check my phone and hoping for his name to appear. Which, I know it'll never happen, so, no point. I just, miss him badly, still. Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Just listened to B.A.P - Stop it. Hey, it's a not bad song though O: Ok lah, shall end my post! Cause I've no idea what to write anymore. More like, I'm lazy to use my brain to think now. Nights earthlings! Monday, October 22, 2012 .jpg) Hi earthlings. Here I am againnnnnnnnnnn. Keke. Shall continue uh. Saturday was my brother's birthday! Happy belated birthday to him~ Whole day was at home studying. Afternoon my brother came back from work and he was browsing through online shoes. I sat beside him and looking through with him. Until halfway he say he cannot take it and he took a short nap. I was browsing through girls stuffs. I saw shoes that looks nice ): Anyway, he woke up and he say he's not going out anymore. He asked me to go starbucks. I can't reject him, can I? He's the biggest for that day, so I agreed. I went to prepare and it was raining cats and dogs. It's really heavy that I couldn't see the surroundings. We went out around 7plus. We took mrt down to dhoby ghaut and went to daiso as he wanted to buy notebook. Bought and we went to Cathay starbucks and sat down. Had hot chocolate! Their hot chocolate still the best. Keke. He read his book, I read mine. I haven't finish reading my "Photogenic life" ! 10 more chapters. Hey, it's an awesome book. Author is Low Kay Hwa. A local story book. I read halfway I stop, because I've been reading books for the whole day, exhausted. Mosquito(?) was sticking at the glass. I use a pen light and keep shine on them, haha x: . They did move, awhile later fly off LOL. Until 10plus, going 11 then we went back to take mrt home. Home, use comp awhile, and went to sleep. Sunday, woke up around 11plus. Use comp awhile, and went back to bed and lie down until dozed off. Woke up around 2plus and went to study. Until 7 I went to meet Jerrold. I at mrt, he didn't tell me beforehand that I go in the train instead of him coming out. He reach already then tell me. End up we met at the next stop. Met, and we went to Esplanade. Well, we used to go there often, when we were together. We sat there, in the dark. He had broken up with his girlfriend, which ya, I just wrote about them lasting long the previous post. -.- Of course, I asked him why etc etc. He told me. And I update him what had happened to mine. Today is the 2 months 10 days ever since he left. No doubt, I still miss him .. Until 9plus we went back home. Jerrold send me halfway home. I feel like walking, so I requesting to walk 2 bus stops down. He was reluctant at first, but end up he still walked with me. I walked so slow, and that distance, we didn't speak a single word. What was on my mind? Millions of things. Him, him, her, him, him, him, studies. ( It's random.) He took bus home and I went home. Home, use comp awhile and went to bed. I toss and turn for an hour plus, I slept at around 1plus 2. Woke up at 10plus today. Use comp awhile, trying to revise my english work. Because, today is O'level English paper! Went to school around 1235, cause need assemble 45 minutes before the paper. Which means, 130 is the start of paper. Had paper 1 first. I took too much time thinking what to write for my composition. Ending wasn't that good though. Break 15 minutes and get back for paper 2. It wasn't hard, it wasn't easy. I manage to answer everything, just do not know is it correct or wrong. I think all most probably is wrong. Home right after the paper. Just came out from shower and came to post. Tomorrow maths paper 1. Would you wish me? ): I'm so unsure about myself now. It's getting out of hand. But then, I don't give a god damn fcuk anymore. Don't worry. I'm so hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Haven't ate anything ever since yesterday morning. x.x Shall go eat now, re-watch SHINee Hello Baby and study for tomorrow! Soon, soon I'll be free. All the best to all taking O'levels be it knowing you or not! You're all awesome! Love you~ Miss meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! And one thing, I hated those who doesn't reply messages. Damn it. OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. Nights earthlings!  , D. Friday, October 19, 2012  Fyi, don't think too much, read on, don't judge and jump to conclusion. Hi earthlings. I do not know why I came to post again. Yesterday studied till 10 and I came back to use comp. I went in audi, yea, Ronn came in too. Just to send kiss. He then went to arena, which, he left me there. Though I waited for him, he didn't came back nor give me a text. I feel, upset. Was lying on bed, couldn't close my eyes. Until what time I doze off, I've no idea. Woke up at around 11plus today. Of course, everyone would do the same. First thing get up after washing up, check facebook and twitter. I ate while re-watching SHINee Hello Baby. Compare to B1A4's Hello Baby, SHINee's Hello Baby are always the most hilarious. HAHA Jonghyun never fails to make my heart melts. Keke. After eaten, of course, back to study time. Like no life right. No choice, Monday is English paper le. That fear in me x.x . I went to Jerrold's timeline. Fyi, he's my ex, a friend now. Hey, don't ask me why I went there, I've no idea too. I scroll to the very bottom, and saw what I posted on his wall last time. Yea, memories of us just flashes back and my tears literally flows out. How long was that, 2 years ago. I found this photo of his. That photo was taken when I was overseas. What made that meaningful, was that necklace he was wearing. That was our 2nd month's anniversary present from him. We each had one, but sadly, mine was thrown away. Well, I regretted for throwing it away. At least, I still have the ring of ours, that he gave me too. 0307'10, was our date. Thinking back, what would happen if I didn't broke off with him that day. Would we still be together? Whatever it is, it's already the past, and he has a girlfriend now. Was kind of jealous seeing his girlfriend posting all those sweet stuffs on his timeline. Haha. Because he was once mine too. Yes, WAS. I know he wouldn't see this but, all I wanna say is, last long. Longer than us, longer than 6 months. Just don't treat her like how you treated me. Cherish her, because to find a good girl in more than a million people, it's a blessing. Though it didn't work out for us, which we actually could, make her the only girl. Both of you are bless to have each other. I'm happy that you're happy. If there's anything, I'll be here for you. Not just for him, for everyone who needs me (: . Until 530, watch channel 8. 630, bath, come out continue re-watch SHINee Hello Baby, wait for hair to dry. Went to audi awhile too. Ronn was online. He pm me, but I was cold to him. He disappear again without telling me. He message me say he didn't know I was waiting for his text. Just two text from him, and that's all. He didn't bother to talk to me anymore. I do not know why. I just feel, so upset, so, empty. I do not know how to explain how I'm feeling right now. It's just, you had a crush on someone, and you were expecting him/her to text you, but you waited and waited, you see him/her update status/tweet, yet none of his/her message came. That heart of yours just sank, deeply, that kind of feel. And you just wish to have conversations and be like a couple for whole day long. Even though I wish, I hope, he doesn't know anything. Yes, I had a small crush on him. Yes, I feel terrible. I actually am afraid to lose him, though he's not mine. I hate it. I hate how it's going. I hate how I feel when it's not vice versa. Would you care to be mine? ): .. I want to be yours. I'm so confused. Are you seeing this? I doubt you are nor will .. I miss you so much, so badly. Please, talk to me, like everyday, every minute, every second. I'm sorry for everything. Some times, I just want to tell him straight that I had a crush on him. I do not have that much courage to do so. So I guess, it's just one sided love, keeping everything to myself. But I really wish he would know .. Sigh. Tomorrow is my brother's birthday! Which means, it's Donald's birthday too .. He made a promise he would bring me along with his family for dinner, but it all shattered away 2months plus ago .. Anyway, what I wish now is that stupid Ronn to talk to me .. I'll just get back to study for awhile more bah. If not later brother come back nag at me again. My post seems long though it's just one day apart from my last post. Lol. And yes, do miss me ok! I'll be back soon. I love you /: .. Nights earthlings! , RonnChanJiaJun(?) Thursday, October 18, 2012  Hi earthlings. It's been a lousy day today. Well, shall start with where I left off last post. Wednesday, I didn't went to school too. It was counted as the "last day" of school. Stayed home to study again. Around 3plus father called me and asked me to bring a key to my grandma house. I can't say no. So, ya, I did. I took the key and went to my grandma house straight. Deposit there and I went to deposit money, and walked home. I reached home and continue to study. Ya, so my post will be all study study study and study. Studied until around 6, on tv to watch channel 8 awhile. Until 630 went to bath, went to buy dinner for brother, and ate with him. Eaten and back to study awhile. Well, more like revising my practical notes at that point. Until around 10, I kept everything aside and came to use computer. Was talking to Ronn, a new friend maybe? On twitter. We end up coupling in audi Lol O: We had been talking throughout the night. He told me he came to read my blog, woah, surprising though. Anyway, I must admit that, yea, he made me smile. Cause he really talk a lot rubbish, more like talking to himself HAHA. He went to sleep first, I slept after awhile. Morning woke up, revising my practical notes again. I was hoping Ronn would message me, but, he didn't. It was quite disappointing though. Went to prepare and took bus down to school. Met Wanwen and Zoe at traffic, Cordelia went in school to buy ruler first. We went to assembly area, at band room, and settle down. 1230 report, 2pm then start practical. Everyone was nervous. But, everyone was like talking about something else instead practical. Lol. Around 150, we went to our venue. Mine was at bio lab. It was good because it can only contain 6 students and we have our own table. Whereas for chemistry lab, a long table with 2 students. I started off with bio first, then chemistry. What makes my day so damn lousy is because, I didn't manage to finish my practical. It is so so so frustrating. More worse is, I didn't fill in any words for conclusion. The practical wasn't that hard, nor it is easy. I could actually do all they asked to do, but, argh. Why chemistry suddenly need test for so many solution!! Came back home right after that. I went to take a short nap, woke up and bath. Studying/revising my POA notes right after I came out from shower. I suddenly feel like posting so I came to post first. My brother has been stressing me. Every time he see me not studying or using computer, he would keep say "why you never study" etc etc. Every single time, every single minute. Fcuk, he is not encouraging me, he is giving and putting more stress to me. The more he force me, the more I lost interest in studying, the more I do not want to study. I can feel that pressure in me. And yea, as I mentioned earlier, Ronn didn't message me. I do not why I would feel this way. I can feel that I am actually looking forward for him to text me. I feel disappointed when he didn't. I must be insane. But still, I hope he would message me, though I know he wouldn't. And of course. I still miss him badly. I wonder how is he right now .. Could you guys like talk to me asap? I'm dying to talk to you .. Yet I do not want to be the one texting you first, I know you wouldn't reply .. This just sucks. I need someone, desperately .. I know I sound like I'm such a weak person but the fact is, who doesn't need someone isn't it .. Sigh .. I'm waiting, still waiting .. Just get your hands on your phone and talk to me please. Shall get on back to hell, yes, study. Do miss me ok! Nights earthlings. Tuesday, October 16, 2012  Hi earthlings. I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Did you miss me? Haha. Well, last friday night after I post, awhile later Wanwen replied me. So I on maple. Played with them awhile, and went to audi. I on there and I was watching tv. Until 3am then I sleep. Sunday morning woke up, prepare and went to have lunch with parents. Ate and brother went off. Me and my parents went to bugis. Was planning to buy iphone 5, cause father wanted to renew his contract. But bugis Singtel out of stock! Took mrt down to ION, Singtel there also sold out. -.- So I gave up. From Orchard walked to Plaza Sing. Walked to cineleisure and there's people giving out balloons for free. My mama said she wanted to take one. I was like, dafug? Lol. Went to 313, HMV, wanted to buy B1A4 and SHINee's album, but, ): .. Mama bought two CDs instead, Greedy Ghost and Ghost on Air. Went home after that. Home, use comp awhile and was being forced to go my grandma house. Went there for half an hour and came back home. Adorable right. I've no idea what for I go. Anyway, am glad my grandma is still as lively as ever. Monday morning dragged myself up to go school. Didn't had much lessons. At around 1215, it's graduating service! Ahhh, I'm going to graduate this year. I bet I'll miss secondary school life! It was fun though. After that went home, bought lunch for my brother, and went to bath. Dried my hair and on maple with Wanwen and Zoe x: Halfway I went to sofa and I dozed off >< Brother cooked porridge for dinner LOL. Fail porridge x: Ate, and we watched Greedy Ghost together. Some parts are really funny! Watched finish, and went to sleep. Yes, no doubt, I actually cried, again. Yes, this is so frustrating. A sentence from Damien, it has been lingered in my head since that day .. My tears just flows and flows and flows. Until 2plus, then I sleep. Today woke up arounnd 11plus. Yes, I didn't went school. Stayed home to study, and it's driving me crazy. Thursday is O'level practical ): Nervous ... I feel so sleepy right now. Should I sleep? But it's only 7.40 ): I seen his post today morning. Don't bother thinking which 'his' is that, it's Donald, yes, him. He said he miss someone. Did you realize, when you're missing someone, I'm missing you? I should be happy that you're sad because you fcuking made me cry for you so much. But you know, I'm actually sad because you're sad? You wouldn't bother .. I don't know what else am I suppose to type. Just here, for now. Nights earthlings. Friday, October 12, 2012 Hi earthlings. Back to post kekeke. Well, so it's about wednesday first hur. Morning didn't went to school. Headed of to my mother's side's grandma house. Stayed there until 1030, me and my mama went to parkway walk walk. Then went sing post to have breakfast/lunch(?). Ate and went home. Home, had a nap. Until then Gladys called me to go bugis. Well, to me, I think it was Jeffrey who wanted to ask me go. I can't reject her, so I prepared and went down to bugis. Met Jeffrey first, and they were playing what, running man? Lol. Ok I know it's lame. So we just walked around Bugis Plus. After that they don't know want buy shirt or something, so was walking around aimlessly. They wanted to eat but I had already eaten, so, too bad. Went to take Bras Basah mrt with Gladys. She was telling me about wooing someone? Actually was going home but I took until Serangoon with her instead. She went home, and I went to Nex. Yep, alone. Walked around, trying to clear my mind, to calm my heart. Bought food and gongcha back for my brother. Used computer awhile and I went to bed. I didn't post it because, I don't feel like it. Thursday, which is yesterday, didn't had school due to EOY marking day. So I woke up in the morning, check facebook, twitter as usual, and off to shower. Prepare and was waiting for ipad to charge a little and I went down to Cathay's starbucks. Yes, alone. Sat there doing my work, maths is giving me a headache sometimes. Halfway I went to watch Resident Evil - Damnation. It's an awesome showwwwwwwwwww. Keep pester my brother to quickly buy the game because I want to see him play. Hehe. I like watching my brother play games, PS3 especially, I don't know why too. Until 5plus I went to Orchard to meet my brother. He went to far east for a hair cut. Of course, me too. It's only the fringe by the way. Haha. Shall try to grow back my long hair, miss that. My fringe cut until very short! Roar! After haircut we went to eat, and went to shop for cordless telephone O: We went to HMV too. I saw B1A4's album D: Wanted to buy but brother say buy online got poster. Walked to Plaza Sing and buy gongcha, took mrt home then. Home, watch Tom and Jerry! HAHA Watch awhile and watch one episode of Supernatural Season 8. AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Went to sleep after that. Today morning wake up, prepare and went to school. Bio lesson, Mrs Tang was going through practicals. After that is PE. Played soccer! Damn funnnnnnnnn, especially playing with Wanwen. The rest like, don't wanna play /: After PE recess. Recess then English period. Three periods at library do your own work. But me, Zoe and Jasmine were talking instead. Both of them were talking about USS. And I didn't went before! I wanted to go ): .. Jelly of them! Tskkkkkkkkkkkkkk. After school jiu went Wanwen house take thumbdrive and walked back home. Copied Audition and Maple into my computer, make sure both can work and took bus back to Wanwen's house to pass back her the thumbdrive. Went to deposit money and walked back home, again. Halfway it rains. Heng I never drag a few minutes later then go out. Home, wanted to play Maple, but i forgotten my pathetic account! Just when I can finally play. Argh. Didn't play instead, watch Tom and Jerry. Brother called and ask me go eat dinner with him. So I went to prepare and took mrt down to Dakota. Yea, we went old airport road to eat. Bought Lao Ban home too! Kekekeke. And this auntie of Lao Ban's thought that I'm my brother's girlfriend. Not first time le leh! Came back home right after that. Watched Supernatural. Then Tom and Jerry. Now I'm waiting for Yufei to send me items from audi. I forgotten my asiasoft, only can ask people send. ._. .. She like disappear liao sial. Wanwen was waiting for me to play maple. But I think she dozed off liao, cause she never reply me. Lol. Anyway, it's not very specific about today's post. I'm like, rushing. Lol. But I have no idea what I'm rushing at. Well, I guess all had given up. So I no need to stress anymore. Hohoho. Shall post until here bah. Same old line. I miss you. Nights earthlings. Tuesday, October 9, 2012 Hi earthlings. Seems like I almost everyday also updating. I just feel like it now. I was able to sleep early last night but end up 12plus then sleep. Today morning woke up, end up going back to sleep again. Yes, means I didn't went to school. Thanks for those who had asked why I didn't went to school. I appreciate it. I'm fine. Until 10plus woke up and mama asked me to accompany her to see doctor. Went to grandma house first cause my father needed shoe for dinner. Put down and walked back to my house. Mama see doctor finish, came home, bath, and went to meet Damien. He say he needed someone to accompany him. Since I live near him so yea. I agreed and went to meet him. I couldn't be specific here. I only can say, I met him and I was studying halfway. He suddenly asked me what happened to me. What's bothering me. By then, I lost my control. I cried, in front of him, twice .. Because I miss him so much. Donald that is. He won't be looking at this so it doesn't matter whether his name is written here or not. It just hurts so much. I was clinging my fist so tight, tighter than you can imagine. But Damien held my hand and let me cling his hand instead. He must be feeling pain on his hand because I really cling so tight, and I just cry and cry and cry .. He is the first guy that actually witnessed me break down and cried like how I always cried in the night before I sleep. I was fighting to hold back my tears so hard. He might not see this. But I wanna thank him, for his shoulder, for wiping my tears, for comforting me. It wasn't enough crying though .. I could actually cry out everything, end up thinking and seeing him being more upset than me, I've no rights to cry so much in front of him. I came home at 7plus. Jeffrey called me saying it's raining heavily at his camp, and asked if I still don't wanna go home. That moment I was actually on my way home. Thanks for your concern, Jeffrey. I know you're worried, and jealous(?), haha. Home, bathed, and went to watch Tom & Jerry. No matter how much I watch it, even if I had watched it before, I still find it awesome. It's one of my favourite childhood cartoon. I bet most people likes it too. Because everyone wish to have a relationship like them. They always fight, but they would never leave one another. Time seems to be running so fast that I couldn't catch up. I do not understand. How can every of my ex move on so fast, yet I couldn't do the same as them? Why couldn't I move on? Why couldn't I forget? Why is it bothering me so much? I hate it. I hate what I am right now. Staying strong had become such a difficult task for me now. What am I suppose to do .. What's the point for still thinking of someone that I know deep down inside me, he's not gonna come back? It's so frustrating. Had been listening to songs, living inside there, avoiding reality. Reality is cruel. Life is a bitch. I guess I could sleep right away now due to cry too much. I just miss you, so much, so badly .. Are you listening? Could you hear me crying so loud to you? You can't even hear a single squeak. I'm right here, I'm haven't move a single inch, waiting for you when I know I had to get going .. Someone. Save me .. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've hurt you from my actions and words. It's hard for you, I know. All I need now, is time. Give me time. To think. To adjust. Patience .. Shall watch few more episodes of Tom & Jerry and sleep. Good nights earthlings.  Because I do .. I miss you badly .. Gosh. I'm breaking down again. I love you still, ever since then .. 15th's. Monday, October 8, 2012  Miss me? HAHA. No one would. Anyway, slept at 11plus yesterday night. Today almost couldn't wake up ): Mama was going grandma house before going to work. She took cab, and I told her I wanted to alight at mrt. She took cab alone and I feel guilty after that ): Reach school, assembly, lessons, as usual. Something bad happened. Wanwen took Zoe's phone during recess time. She then passed to Leah. Zoe knows Leah took it, so Leah passed to me. I kept it inside my bag and totally forgotten about it. During SS lesson, Zoe argue with Wanwan and Zoe cried. I returned her her phone and tried to comfort her. Zoe keep say it's Wanwen's fault and wanted her to apologize. Wanwen knows it wasn't her fault and she refuses to apologize, and she cried too. We had a hard time trying to comfort both of them. Sigh. I feel so fcuking guilty ): Hope their alright. Walked to traffic with Wanwen as usual. Home and was looking at my brothers, cousins and my baby photo. Damn cute caaaaaaaaaaan. I didn't know that my cousin was so chubby when he was young. Comparing to now, he is much more skinner LOL. I'm just gonna post up one of my baby photo x: Wanted to go and run but I didn't, my god ): Tomorrow, no matter what must go run. It's showing 'Taken' now at channel 5. Heard it's a nice show? Taken 2 was out in the movies now. O: Oh my. My post used to be so long, now so shorttttttttttttt. Had been talking to Damien the whole day. Jeffrey gone missing o.o Nothing else to post le. Shall go watch 'Taken' now. Kekekekekeke. Hope you would see this. I miss you. I'm waiting for you to talk to me, since then .. Sunday, October 7, 2012 Hi earthlings. It's just gonna be another post. Was being forced to eat yesterday midnight as my father & brother each bought food home. Ate, rest awhile, was talking on the phone with Jeffrey. Until don't know what time, when I'm about to doze off, Sebas called. He was trying to comfort and convincing me due to reading my blog. But if he sees this, I wanna say, I'm sorry, it doesn't work. Because I had totally forgotten about every word he says when I woke up today morning. My brain was shutting down already, so cannot blame me ><. Woke up in the middle of the night because it's so warm. Today morning mama went to buy mac breakfast for me despite raining! She surprised me ><. I'm shock, really. I love her, she's awesome, she will always be the first in my heart. Eaten and went to prepare to go out with my parents. It was raining so we went out a little later. It was good because we are actually going out to eat lunch. Lol. Took mrt down to Zion Road. On the way I was reading a book, 'A photogenic life'. It's a nice book. Reached, ate, and mama bought watermelon juice for me. Kekeke. Took bus down to Orchard Ion to purchase story book because today is last day of having discounts. Bought 4 books straight. Cost $51 x: , but thanks father! Took mrt home alone. Parents went don't know where. Home, took out chemistry notes and started to study. It's surprising, to myself. I just sat down, trying to memorize. Until then Jeffrey called me. I almost doze off. x.x We talked, of course. Just hanged up not long ago. Feel like blogging so I came to post. Whenever I listen to U-Kiss ; Kevin's voice, or see his picture, Sean would always come to my mind. Only my darling would know who Sean is. Well, it's been almost 2 years already. He's someone I regretted, somehow. But things can't be changed. I wonder how is he doing right now .. I'm home all alone, now. Ok I'm feeling a little hungry. ): A month more, O'levels would be over. By that time it's time to find job and earn money! It would be hard to find though. I'm tired. I'm tired of always repeating myself. So many things had been running in my mind. If it's to be written out, I won't be able to write a single word. Why am I so hard to be understood? Why do I have to wear different masks everyday, every time. I hate it. Out of a sudden, I don't feel right. It doesn't feel like as it was before. It's so confusing. I'm confusing others too .. Ok I've no idea what to type, though I always feel that I've so much to say. Tomorrow it's just another school day. I guess I'll get back to study. I miss you .. Nights earthlings. Saturday, October 6, 2012 Hi earthlings! Looks like I'm back to posting again. So am I suppose to type out what happened today? Too long never post blog already ): Yesterday night was watching X-Factor(?) with my brother. There's this song, called, "Nobody knows". The lyrics really is, damn, meaningful. Yea, somehow speaks my heart too. After that Jeffrey called me. So we were on the phone, well, almost everyday(?). Like always, he keep talk so much rubbish that made me laugh. But somehow, we talked about something else, that my tears literally flows out. Because of reception, phone was being hanged up. He didn't called back because he knows I'm crying and he had no idea what to do. He whatsapp me instead, but end up dozing off. Yea, I cried yesterday night once again. I do not know why too. Is it because I miss him? Or maybe I feel so tired and weak that I just wish someone could let me feel secure and love. I guess, it's never gonna happen anyway. Dozed off right away after I stopped crying. Woke up early this morning. Caleb gave me a morning text. I don't know what's wrong with him. Since he had already chosen her, so what for always turn back to peep at me? Not just him, there's other that's stressing me out too. Oh well, ate breakfast that mama bought for me and went to study awhile. I feel damn tired so I went to take a nap. Woke up, check facebook, twitter, I went to sleep again. Woke at 6plus and realize Jeffrey called me. I told him to call again, for what I know, he would take a long time. So I went to take a bath instead first. Came out and realize he called again LOL. I say again then he called. We had talked for like, 2 hours straight. Omg. No doubt, he talks a lot rubbish. It was fun keep shooting him x: , but it's all joke~ Just hanged up and I came to post. I feel weird when Jeffrey didn't message me in the morning. Ok. O.m.g. o.o Was trying to download Audition. From morning until now lehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, going to finish already, it tells me 'network error'. Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao. I'm not eager to play so I'll just wait next time. Was watching Shrek on channel 5 when I was on the phone. Whenever I watch Shrek, "True love, they didn't mind how each other look like, they love each other, deeply", this sentence would always lingered in my mind. Who doesn't want to be like them? I wish to have too. I wonder who would read my blog. I wish you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you would. Stay strong. It's such a hard thing to do. I want to be happy. Everyone does. Life's such bitch. I miss you. Nights earthlings. Friday, October 5, 2012 Hi earthlings!
My Internet is finally back once again!
So I decided to retrieve my pathetic blog here, which last post was like, last year!?
Well, no one would visit anyway.
Should I remove chatbox? Hmms.
Maple and Audition, I'll get back to you after my O'levels!
It's just in a month time ):
Stress. Stress. Stress.
For these past 10-11 months, many things had happened.
I can't be exact if I'm gonna type everything out.
But recently ..
Gosh, maybe I shouldn't type it out, I'm will break down any time.
If he happens to see this, I don't know if he knows it's him, I just wanna say, I miss him. A lot. A lot.
I've no idea why am I still holding on.
It's so stupid. Argh.
I just went to see a blog, a year ago thing.
I literally cried. Really.
Memories kept on flashing back.
Should I wish him a happy birthday two days later? Maybe I shouldn't. Or maybe he had changed number.
Many things had been bothering me recently.
I'm so tired. Mentally.
It's so hard to put in 0.01% of effort.
Carefree.
I wonder have you thought of me like I am thinking of you, every single night.
It's driving me crazy.
Maybe I shall blog next time.
Feeling kinda tired right now.
Stupid song need use that playlist then can listen. Too big :@
Anyway, shall watch B1A4 hello baby to cheer up a little. Kekeke.
It's so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
My cutey Jinyoung~ -wink-
Sleep early earthlings!
Hehe.
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This is my blog. I write whatever I want. You've no right to judge me. Continue to stay if you are happy. Not happy? S-C-R-A-M. :D Tyvm. :D  Vera / Jiayun. ♥ First cry on 02Jan'95. I'm single. Respect and treat me like how you want me to treat you. ^^ I'm a fan of SHINee, B2st, B1A4, BTOB. Overall, I'm friendly and a little insane, feel free to add me in facebook/twitter @veramissyou. Life has always been a huge roller coaster ride for me and now I'm really getting tired of it. I just wanna put everything down and let go. " She’s a little girl, living in her perfect world Until the bad guy come, and tore everything apart.."  Name: Kim Jonghyun. Nickname: Bling Bling Jonghyun. DOB: April 8th, 1990. Position: Lead Vocal.  DOB: June 6, 1991. Nickname: Sonseuko, 16 D. Name: Son Dong Woon. Specialty: Piano and traditional chinese.  DOB: November 18, 1991. Name: Jung Jinyoung. Position: Leader, Vocalist.  Name: Shin Dong Geun. Stage Name: Peniel. Birthday: March 10, 1993. Position: Vocalist, Dancer. the sites. Angie. Damian. Dionis. Emily. Geoffrey. Huixin. Hweeling. Recca. Joycelyn. Jieyun. Joslyn. Julia. Jesslyn. Kevin. Kyrene. Lynnie. Liru. Lisha. Michelle. Shiwen. Sean. Sean. Sophia. Tyco. Weiting. Yiwen. Yiping. Vera Luvz  Create Your Badge • Add if you want. August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 October 2012 November 2012    Create a playlist at MixPod.com |
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