Hello peepos. ^^
Shall continue, waited for some people to call me as he say he'll call me back later on.
So I waited &waited until2plus/3.
Yes, someone called, but it's not him, instead it's Geoffrey.
Lied to him that I wanna sleep but I didn't.
My brother is back from his Taiwan trip, &he bought this Elmo for me. (L)(Y)
He bought one shirt &S.H.E cd for my elder brother, like, I also want shirt lah. ):
Well, he manage to get something for me, I'm happy already.
Accompany him awhile until I really bth liao, got to wake up early the next morning.
I put alarm 8.15, both my brother put their alarm at 7plus.
Both rang &I'm sleeping in th middle some more, ji ke lian yi xia.
I'm feeling so tired that I don't feel like going for the CIP.
But I forced to pull myself up as the CIP is a must go thing, no choice~
Went to different elderly houses at Pipit Road which is near my house only.
Me, Leah, Jonell &MrsChoong went together, abit boring but it's good &I'm pleased that they're living happily.
12plus ended, walked back home.
My brother asked me to accompany him go eat, but in the end I never.
Cause darling asked me first, she asked me to pei her go eat.
Went to prepare &down to her house downstairs to wait for her. So sweet of me right. :B
We took mrt down to PayaLebar to have LJS.
Talked quite a lot of things.
Done eating &we headed down to Tampines as I wanted to buy something.
On the way in the train, we keep laugh laugh laugh until we reached Tm, non-stop leh. Pro us.
Walked &manage to get my things with just $12.
Then accompanied darling to CentreSquare to buy clips.
Buy liao then took mrt back home.
Went to bath, prepare awhile &head down to tk myself.
Niahma, I walk wrong side.
In the end need mother to walk to mrt to fetch me. Xiasuey.
See some past photos with Yiwen, can't imagine past &now look so different.
Today's run is fun, non-stop. :3
But I hurt my finger.... ):
Ended &I feel very giddy &tired, may faint anytime.
Camwhore few pictures &off to van to go home.
In van, had a h2h talk with Hweeling, my dear cousin.
I also had a h2h talk with my beloved darling.
Thanks for those listening ear, I feel abit better saying out how I feel.
Thanks darling for all those craps &make me laugh, if not I'll be crying at home, I guess. (: ....
Now I'm home, alone.
Been thinking a lot a lot a lot.
Well, don't take me for granted.
How you treat me, I'll treat you the same.
You love me? You care about me? You worry about me? I'm important to you? You'll never leave? Yea right, all the answer is no, you know, N.O.
Please spare a thought for me.
You know how I feel anot.
You know those being thrown to one side &sitting down, eyes 24/7 looking at the phone, waiting for your text/call like an idiot?
Yea, I am one. I'm such a fat idiotic person.
Agree? Yes, strongly agree.
I'm very emotional that's what you'll be thinking.
If it wasn't you, you think I'll be so emotional?
Ya, you'll also say spare a thought for you.
If you are unable to touch your phone, at least inform me isn't it?
You didn't inform me, I'll be there worrying what happen to you or what so ever.
Yes, that's what I call I'm idiotic.
I'm not angry cause you didn't manage to text me for a period of time, I'm angry cause you didn't even tell me in the first place.
Like hi, I'm not invisible.
Or I am, even a computer is much more important than me. Pathetic hor. ^^
Darling today asked me, "That time you write on your blog say you can't smile from you heart. Then now leh?"
Been thinking about that question.
Yea, I may be laughing from my heart, but that won't heal my wound.
In short, I don't think I'm laughing from my heart.
But then, thanks darling for that laughter which makes me puts him &problems aside for a few minutes. I appreciate it. (L)
Got boyf like no boyf, no difference.
Like what darling told me today.
Yes, same goes for me.
I'm not gonna give in &give in &give in, while he only takes in &takes in &takes in.
Feel miserable &get hurt is us, not him.
Why is it us kept on giving in, why can't it play fair &square?
Ohwell, life is unfair isn't it.
If you &your boyf/girlf stop texting/calling for quite a period of time, around 6hours, &he/she called &he/she say's he/she don't disturb you, later he/she will call back.
How would you feel?
Normal people, I mean most of the girls, will want to have a longer talk with him/her isn't it.
&he/she just say "then I don't disturb you".
If you don't wanna talk to me then tell me, don't use "I don't disturb you" to excuse yourself.
Ya, you "WILL" call back? My ass lah, call lan lah call.
One shadow also don't have. -.-
I'm sorry if this affect you or offended you, do whatever you want alright.
I'm tired already, seriously tired...
It takes two hands to clap, I can't probably be the one holding on all the weight.
I know he's stress about his 'N'.
Like I said, I'm not invisible. I'm not just appearing a girlf of his, I'm someone who is here to share all your burdens with, happiness or sadness, I'll like to share them all.
Maybe to him I may not be his girlf but my ear &shoulder is always there for him.
But hey, I'm a human, I've feelings, I can feel the tiredness &I need to rest too.
I've so much so much so much things to say, but you won't be listening anyways, why bother.
Really cannot take it anymore...
Hiding myself in the dark/sleep &never ever wake up is what I wish I can have now...
Prays I won't do silly stuffs...


Edited.

I just my prediction is right.

Just saw something which was on fb &it's about an hour plus ago.

I'm thinking &being sad alone all along &all he do is just enjoying himself.

I can hold back my tears, but when I saw that, it burst out.

There's no need to talk anymore.

This is what you wanted isn't it, okay, don't regret for what you've done.

Don't say I never warn you.

Well, shall not cry anymore.

Nights everyone. ^^ .......

, Beacuse of you.

Hi peeps. ^^

Before I continue, I just want to say,

Fyi, I've no mental problem, don't worry. Keep your comments to yourself, tyvm. ^^

Shall continue~

Sunday stayed home whole day, like damn sian can.

7plus went to find darling as she's coming over to my grandma house.

Blahblahblah, monday went to school.

Don't know got what student council talk, in the end whole class kanna punished.

Went back grandma house, grandma keep nag nag nag.

She love to compare others with me.

So what they earn 6000plus per month, so what they're more smart.

I own my life, I do what I want. Next time suffer is me I know, but who cares?

I dislike people keep take me compare with others. No one is perfect right. -.-

Then I forgot already, think darling didn't came over, she's tired.

Tuesday went school, nothing much.

Darling came over to my grandma house at night.

After she went home, I was listening to music &wanted to sleep.

My grandma came in the room &she started to nag again, zz.

Wednesday, mother late woke up, she 7.30 then reached grandma house as she passes me my uniform every morning.

Well, was thinking to late for school, but in the end I told my mother that I don't wanna go school.

She ask why, I say just don't feel like.

She's okay with it, (Y).

She then ask me then I want to see doctor ah? I ask her bring me go, she say okayokay, quickquick. (Y)square.

We from 7plus see doctor until 10plus, we went to have breakfast together &went down to Bugis.
Walk walk, until 3plus we took bus home.

Yeps, bought two shirts. Just normal shirts, nothing interesting.

Reached home around 4plus, used com awhile.

6plus/7 went down to grandma house, grandma kp again.

Pissed off, took bag &went down to darling's house.

Until 10 &I went back, sleep.

Thursday went school, also nothing much.

After school, darling going don't know see what art things, so me &baby went to bbt shop to have lunch &she came my grandma house awhile.

4plus went to fetch my precious darling, went to her house.

Almost dozed off while waiting for her to prepare.

She tap me &I jumped up.

Went my grandma house, that puborkia shout &scolded me. -.-!

Not I don't want answer his phone, I really have no mood &don't feel like answering his phone as later he put more oil only.

Ah, whatever.

Went to oldchangkee, whatever it's spelled, with darling &back to grandma house.

Of cause got buy things to mammam lah, who so baichi walk there without buying anything &back again.

Sent her home as usual, went home, lie on bed, flip here &there, until 3plus/4 then I dozed off.

I don't know why...

Today morning went school, also nothing much happen.

After school went back grandma house, rest awhile, meet darling &baby.

Went to library, &back to school for CCA.

Ended &accompanied baby &darling to bbt shop as they wanted to mammam.

Sit-ed there &talk until 5plus &we went home.

Reached &went to prepare, 7.30 uncle came to fetch me.

Went tk, like abit sian.

Ended &went home, tomorrow got CIP, sianhalf.

Shall try to sleep. /:

Today is really a bad day, I'm totally totally totally MOODLESS!!

Yea, credits to them.

Nothing changes, everything's still the same.
I'm not important to anyone, especially YOU.

No one cares. In the eyes of them, I'm just transparent, no one sees me.

Until now he still don't understand how I feel.

Got boyf like no boyf, wtfzzzzz. -.-!

Whatever whatever whatever lah. Knn.

I'm riled by your attitude.

Forget it....

, Just fcuking leave me alone.

Hello. :D

Me is back.

Sunday went out with parents to have lunch as usual.

Went to cut hair afterwards.

Well, half like &half don't like my hair cause I look weird.

Went home, &out awhile again to meet my precious boyf.

We then go my beloved darling's house to fetch my sweety son, yoreyore.

She say she feel like calling Qitai, so I took her phone &try find his contact while darling is talking in front of me, &she doesn't know. :P

Called, he answered &I pass to darling, she just kup the phone.

I called back, &told him that I accidenly pressed wrong, very fake I know.

Darling went to change as she's coming over to my grandma house to accompany me.

&something happen~~~~~
I bet darling know horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!, I open the door &....~ ;hoho

Sent boyf to mrt &head to my grandma house.

Half study half crapping.

Sent darling home around 10plus.

Monday went school, nothing much.

After school went to have PastaMania with my beloved darling.

We from Aljunied walked until PayaLebar leh, prodieus hor. (Y)

Had our lunch &went to Popular.

I like very suaku sial, keep "Eheheh darling, what's this? Eh!, this one this one... DARLING, BUY THIS BOOK FOR ME!"

Fyi, "the book" is those baby/small children read kind. Heeehs, childish I know.

Me &darling keep laugh laugh laugh, machiam siao people.

We lazy walk back so we took the mrt.

&we saw Xiaored, o.o!!

So coincidence, his hair is nice. Darling say he look like Pengsiong, yes agree.

Darling went back home, I went back grandma house &bathe.

Awile later darling came over my grandma house to study.

Before that we went to buy whiskey. (Y)

Darling almost cried~ See liao heart pain. ):

Sent her back home &back to sleep.

Damn, this few days keep midnight wake up, I'm like, freaking tired.

At school cannot really focused, as if I may faint at anything.

Tuesday, nothing much in school also.

After school went back grandma house bathe &meet boyf.

Went library to do homework.

So guai of us. ^^v

Saw Weileong, Kaixiang, Benjiamin &Zhenzhou.

&I was like, -.-!?

Up to second floor to do, cause first floor seems to be kinda noisy &warm. (Thought library should be quiet? o.o )

Heng never saw the "frog", if not spoil my day only.

Done with my report essay &I read through boyf's work.

I keep laugh you know, cause he write until very singlish, so I helped him to correct.

Hope he get a nice grade, ^^

&I saw a bag very familiar, so I went up &see, just as I thought, it's really Joycelyn.

Me &boyf sit in library don't know where to go.

So we went to the usual place to slack.

I called my father to inform him that I'm going to study, will be home around 9plus 10.

&he kp me? Wtf.

Never inform also kp, inform also kp. -.-

&I cried, one reason is cause of the call, but I cried for other reason.. /:

In front of boyf throw face, so xiasuey.

Around 9plus he sent me back to grandma house, &he went off to take mrt back home.

I don't know what happen to me yesterday, sigh.

Today at school also nothing much you see, pe play badminton.

Maths lesson me, Liru, husband aka Leena &Emily keep laugh like mad.

Don't know what happen to us, I is not laugh at the joke, I is laughing at how Emily's laughing.

After school took bus with husband back home &came back to post.

Darling called just now, maybe going slack with them? Not sure.

Byes~ :D

Seriously, why am I feeling this way.

I can't feel your love anymore.

Or maybe, you've never once loved me.

Your actions/words shows everything.

Been trying to tell you by hinting you, well, you just couldn't get what I mean.

So I didn't go on, don't wished to force you.

I'm just a nobody to you from the start.

To you, what do you take me as? I've no idea.

I don't want to cry anymore, it's gruelling.

Everything is dissipating bit by bit.

I've so much to say to you, I just can't express out or put it in simple words.

So near, yet so far.

Well, I'm a girl, a girl needs to feel secure, protected, &being love by someone she loves.

I know I can't expect/force you to love me, force doesn't gain happiness.

Yes, you won't leave me, I know.

But it's because you promised, &you wanted to be a man of word.

Words shows nothing, action shows everything.

You know how am I feeling now? Yes, sweet but bitter &sour.

Even a football match is more important than me, what else can I say? Hahs.

, Yes I'm hitched to you, but there's no love between us.

Ahni-hasayyo. :D

I'm back home, finally.

Sunday abit forgot what happen.

Monday, Tuesday, morning school, afternoon grandma house, night study &sleep.

Darling didn't went to school, indeed I miss her.

Wednesday darling is back to school. (Y)
Well, at night don't seems to go too well.

I cried, &I fall asleep.

Thurday morning didn't text with boyf. /:

After school he called, he ask whether I want him come down anot.

So I went back grandma house bathe.

Darling &baby don't know went where, playground I think.

3plus met boyf at mrt.

We went to library, those people sibeh kp. Geez.

5plus we went other place slack until 9plus, he sent me back to grandma house &he went home.

He's eyes is red, cause he very very tired, see liao heart pain. ):

He hor, very childish sial, keep tickle me. x: (Actually is the opposite. (Y). )

Reached grandma house, lie on bed &I dozed off immediately.

That was like, 10. Boyf text me at around 10.31, I'm in lalaland liao.

Until 12.29, Geoffrey called.

He disturb me from my beauty sleep leh, I can sleep until morning one lor.

Hai me morning wake up so tired. -.-

Today at school, nothing much.

Had math test, quite easy lah, can't get high score at least can pass.

After school, baby say she want to eat mac, darling say okay, then I also anything lor.

At first we three very quiet, then darling suddenly cried.

After crying, she gone crazy, we three laugh like mad.

Darling show a face very retarded sial, make me keep laugh only.

Eh darling. "Har?" (I bet darling know what I talking.)

Eat finish, Leah &her friend came.

Awhile later we went to darling's house cause she need to feed her dog.

We walk past mac &baby saw something she doesn't want to see.

Reached, darling went in. Me &baby was standing quite a distance away.

She told me that she thought she've let go, &she cried.

Yeps, I hugged her &told her not to cry, I understand, sayang-ed her.

Darling came out, next is go baby's house cause need take badminton racket.

Scare me, baby just bang the door very super hard when she saw her sister.

Me &darling was standing outside waiting for her.

Then darling hang her phone over her neck, &she hang a pig-rabbit on her phone.

I hit the pig-rabbit in a slow motion, darling thought I want hit her nehneh. LOL.

We were laughing all the way.

When we reached first floor, I forgot when, don't know darling say baby semo, then baby just suddenly come near me want to hug me &she accidently hit my nehneh, wtf. LOL.

Darling still say what, bird go find his bestf, -silence a few sec- , call cage.

A lot rubbish lah.

Then we went library to read books, until 3.05 we walk back to school for CCA.

Sign in &we started to play.

Awhile later something made me very pissed off happen.

Please, keep your comments to yourself if you don't have any positive things to say.

It hurts just by saying those nasty words.

None is perfect.

Look yourself in the mirror &look carefully, do you look perfect?

If yes, I've nothing to say. If no, then don't kp so much like a dog alright.

Don't judge people if you ain't perfect.

If I'm elephant, then what are you? Hippo? Or Gorilla?

I'm white yes I know, why? Jealous I've a whiter skin than you? Too bad.

Don't go dark any further leh, skali people mistaken you as bangala. :D

Yea, I admit I'm not a very good looking girl like any other girls.

In fact, no one is ugly in appearance.

You may be more good looking than me, so?

Who cares if appearance is good anot, a pretty girl comes from the heart, not face, not body.

Are you? I doubt so.

At least inside, I know I'm much much much more better than you.

Disagree? Ask people around. ^^

After CCA darling &baby don't know go where, but I came back home by walking first.

It's raining, yes, I cried in the rain.

I love crying in the rain, cause none knows you're actually crying.

Reached house door, wipe off my tears &told myself, "Big girls don't cry."

Thanks darling &baby for your concern, I'm alright. (:

Went to bathe &came to post.

Feeling very tired now, shall go rest awhile.

Last but not least.

I'm missing my boyf /: ..

, Love that never exist.

Ahni-hasayyo. (:

Shall continue to post, sunday darling went out with Qitai, I've tk.

After tk went home was on phone with boyf.
Monday morning went to my grandma house sleep until 12 woke up &went to prepare.

Yeps, meeting my boyf.

We decided to watch movie together, at Tampines.

Me: You want watch movie anot? You watch "The Karate Kid" already?

Boyf: Anything. You decide. Haven't.

Me: Okay. Then we watch at Tampines.

Boyf: Okay.

We meet 2.30, &I 2.20 then reached Aljunied mrt, I'm like, late? Lol.

He say he go buy tickets first then come back mrt meet me.
Reached, met &we've like half an hour before the movie starts, so we went to walk around.

Walk until last floor, stand outside Pasta Mania, look down to watch people walking.

Boyf: Very nice to see meh?

Me: Hai hao. This call 'people mountain people sea', ren shan ren hai.

Boyf: You ah, full of nonsence. -sayang my head-

When I turn back to see people, he just pushed me towards his cheeks &I.. you know.

Damn shy.

I keep poke his cheek, cause very chubby.

He keep pinch my cheek. Tsk.

When it's time to go in, we went in &watch the movie.

He very scare I cold, keep ask ask ask, "you cold anot? Want jacket? Really ah?"

I forgot is when, HE JUST KISSED MY LIPS, like, my whole face turn red.

Heng it's dark, no one saw. :P

&he lie to me you know.

He say he haven't watch that movie, but actually he watched liao lor!

I find it weird when he told me he haven't watch, cause my darling told me he watched with Qitai already.

Ohwell, after movie he sent me home.

So sweet of him, (:

Tuesday, darling evening came over to my grandma house.

&something very bad happen.

Sigh..

Wednesday forgot what happen.

Thursday after school went to have lunch at Pasta Mania with darling &baby.

They both say my face change liao, become more mature. Got meh. o.o

Today, after school went to Singpost to help my brother take things with darling.

Took &I went back grandma house to rest &watch show.

Was on phone with boyf until I reached school for CCA.

Met darling &baby first &we went in.

After CCA, baby went to meet her friend while me &darling went to have lunch + dinner.

Eat finish &boyf called.

Accompany darling to take her contact lens, she send me halfway &she went home.

When I reached my house door, my brother called.

I thought he wanted to ask me to help him buy dinner.

Instead, he asked me.

Brother: Well, I called you just want to ask you. I know it's weird but, you want watch movie? I'm kinda depressed now, so yea..

Me: Okay lor, what you want watch?

Brother: I feel like watching "Despicable Me".

Me: Okay.

We talk like, 10mins? &boyf was on hold. x:

When I got back to him, he say, "Emo-ing in progress~" LOL.

He's going for tuition, so we hang up &I went to prepare.

Brother came back &he ask me where watch.

So we look look look, decided to go Bishan to watch, so we had book tickets from the internet.

Thanks brother for the movie treat. (:

We went there, brother went to food junction to had his dinner.

He ate pepper lunch, he feed me eat one mouth to try out leh. Hehs.

After he ate finish we went to walk around, see those wu eh bo eh.

Time for movie &we went in, feeling damn cold. ._.

&hey, it's a very nice &funny movie. It's a must watch movie. It's cute.

Feel like watching again, ohwell.

After movie took mrt back home &now I am.

I'm feeling damn tired now, may faint anytime.

Hope boyf would call me. /: (when I write this boyf called. x:)

Byes.

, Speechless.

Darling, I don't how am I going to comfort you.

Having that incident happen, I'm worry for you, really.

I've a lot to say, but I just don't know how to express them out.

Like I said, you may feel that I've changed after having boyf, sorry if I've made you feel this way, but I'm not.

I want you to know, well, I know you've know this long ago, I'm always here, always there for you.

If you &my boyf asked me to meet on the same day, I'll meet you, &I meant it.
I can't leave you alone, I can't, just cause you're my bestf, my nuer, my darling, my sister.

I know, I understand how you feel, it hurts, it pains, it's miserable, it sucks.

Without him darling, you still can be the YOU.

Sad, crying, emotional, is not the darling I know.

A cheerful, funny, cute, sweet &loving darling is what I know.

He don't know, he don't understand how you feel, how much you loved him deeply, how hurt you are, how much tears you've cried for him, but darling, I know..

You told me, you told me you won't drop tears for that jerk anymore.

It's a good start, you've that thinking it's good.

But if you really cannot take it, don't keep it to yourself, cry it all out.

My shoulder is always there for you to cry, ear is always there for you to had h2h talk.

I know you can do it, you can give up on that bastard, I know you can do the same for the jerk.

He don't cherish you it's he's loss not yours.

Please, my darling is cute &sweet, he must feel happy that you love him, but he don't appreciate it, so what for, he's not worth your time &tears.

I'm sure there's someone better that'll know how to cherish you &love you more than you love him.

That day will come, just be patient &wait.

You may see I'm having a sweet boyf or what so ever, but when it's your turn, it'll be the other way round.

Trust me darling, I'm always supporting you.

(L).