I'mma back to post again.

It's been quite long ever since I last posted isn't it.

Well, was kinda lazy to post, plus there's no one reading it anyway.

A lot of things had happen.

Last sunday, 18 Sept.

I went to ite college west with Emily, Liru and her mother.

It's huge.

It's nice too, especially the kitchen where you bake things.

The hotel was nice too.

We went for their open house and around 4 we went off.

We from Teck Whye LRT took to CCK mrt.

And from CCK mrt we head all the way down to Tampines.

We went to eat first and took shutter bus down to IKEA.

They went there to buy things.

After that we took cab back to Liru's house.

We sit there till 9 and I went home.

Monday, went school blahblahblah.

After school rush back home, bath, tie hair and went down to kallang to meet Liru.

Accompany her to see dentist.

Done and went back her house.

Awhile later went down to dhoby ghaut to find my brother.

We went to watch Johnny English Reborn.

He really joker sial, laughdieme seriously.

Finished and we took mrt home.

Home bath and sleep.

Tuesday I forgot what happen.

Wednesday, I also forgot what happen.

Thursday, I didn't went to school.

Stayed home the whole day, I think.

Friday, after school came home to bath and prepare.

Liru and Emily came my house too.

Until 2pm we went to Liru's house.

Until I don't know what time I went ..

Okay, I forgot.

Or maybe I remember, I don't wanna mention it anyway. (:
Saturday stayed home with brother the whole day.

Well, afternoon he ask me go eat mac with him.

11plus we watched Final Destination 3 at channel 5.

They showed almost everything and they put that show as PG. -.-

Watched finished and went to sleep.

I dozed off at my brother's bed, in the end he went to my bed and sleep. Haha.

Sunday, as usual.

Went to eat with parents, and went down to Liru's house.

Actually wanna go other place buy things, but in the end we didn't.

Stayed there till 8pm and went home.

Home, bath, watch bleach till 10 and went to bed.

I almost couldn't sleep, but I still slept, by force.

Today went school.

Hmms, nothing much happen also.

12.25 we sec 4s had a graduation thing.

Then got prize giving for those had been selected.

That atmosphere, make me can't bear to leave the school.

I miss the teachers, I miss life in secondary school.

Those laughter and fun we had.

But I have to go, aww, sad. ):
Until 2pm they dismiss us for refreshments, I just came back home. o.o

I know it's bad but, I just don't wanna see him by chance, although I wanted to ..

He's really a different guy.

He is someone I wanted to keep by my side so much.

Someone I wanted to hold on tightly.

But people pull him away, and he went, instead of staying with me ..

Man, I can't bear to let him go.

But even if I dont, he already let go.

All I can do now is to let go, and wish him all the best, though I miss him ..

I'll be waiting ..

Why, I know I'm sad over him, but I just don't feel anything about it.

What's wrong with me seriously.

Vera, stay strong!

Being alone isn't a bad thing, even though you need him, you've to hang on!

Though I know I'm not strong, but there's nothing I can do ..

I just need somebody to love.

I need to feel that I'm important to someone, someone like you.

I didn't regret, because I know I've tried my best to fight for him.

It's hurting, knowing he didn't fight for me.

But it's okay, I'm used to it, use to suffering all alone, when I need him to help me carry some of my burdens.

I shall carry everything myself, even if I can't, I have to.

Lonely, I feel like I'm nothing.

Failure every where, being a girlf, being a friend, being a sister, being a daughter, being a student, in studies, in my work.

At first he was my lead, he was the one I'm looking at, the one who give me courage, give me motivations, everything.

But for now, he left.

I'm lost.

It's like, whatever things I do now, it doesn't seem right ..

How I wish he's back by my side, and I mean, only my side, only me.

But I guess it's impossible.

He have his girlf(s).

He wont remember me.

He wont miss me.

He wont really care about me.

He wont even look at me for a second.

He just wont do anymore thing that involves me.

Flashing back.

Looking how innocent and sweet he is.

He message me everyday, take me as his girlf, etc.

And I get to see him almost everyday.

Get to have his hug, his love everyday.

Everyday calls me, joke with me, really very sweet.

All he have in mind was just me and me.

But right now, it's all over.

Why am I crying? I dont know.

I'm crying, yet I don't feel anything.

Why does everyone leave me, when I needed them the most?

I've so much to say, so much to say to him.

Say how much I want him to stay, to love me, but I couldn't express myself ..

Who, who can really sit down right beside me, and listen to me carefully, whole heartily.

I doubt so.

I'll post again if I thought of what else to type.

I realized, whenever I'm sad, I'll blog.

And I always find tumblr that somehow express what I'm feeling, and thinking.

Sigh, what a sad life I'm always having ..

But at least I had a 2 months happy life with him ..

Thanks a million ..

I shall go and take a nap, my eyes are hurting.

Nights earthlings ..

I miss you baby .... A lot .....