Well, after my last post, everything seems so dark to me.

Thursday, I went down to find him.

And what I get was, he wanted to break.

I tried to get everything back, but he doesn't want it.

So I gave up.

I went home after that.

And I forgotten what I did.

Friday, stayed home the whole day, parents went malaysia.

So I borrowed my brother's laptop to watch show.

Whole day I'm watching show, how pathetic.

Until 12plus I think, brother came back home.

He went to play ps3, while I watched him play.

Around 5plus we ordered mac and we ate before going to bed.

We slept at 7, woke around 2plus 3plus.

He continue play his game, he then say he wants to sentosa.

So I went to bath, prepare everything and we went down to sentosa.

We from vivo, walk to universal studio outside, and walk to the beach.

It's my first time visiting universal studio, outside only.

But hey, it's awesome.

Went to the beach, we walked around.

Well, I just wanna go there and calm myself.

We then took the free tram back to station and walk back to vivo from there.

Reached and we went to eat.

Eat finish and we went to walk about in vivo and we took train home.

Home and continue watch my brother play ps3.

Awhile later he say he don't wanna play already, he say go watch show.

So we went into the room and he actually wanna watch one piece, but I don't like.

He lend me watch, while he play psp.

I rewatch Toy Story 2, kinda forgot the story.

Watch finish he say want order mac, again.

So he did.

Ordered, ate, rest awhile and we went to bed, at 3plus.

But I didn't sleep, I was watching Shinee hello baby.

Watch until 4plus going 5 I bth, I closed and I slept.

Slept till 1plus then wake up.

Awhile later brother came back.

I used his laptop to watch show, he then went to bath and play ps3, again.

I watched 'Mary to Max' is it?

I forgot the title, but I know it's Mary and Max.

Hmms, it's quite nice(?).

It's about these two person doesn't have any friends, etc.

Watch halfway I went to bath and prepare.

Awhile later, my brother bought his friend to my house.

It's a American, from USA I think.

I don't know why he came to Singapore, I only know he's gonna stay at my house, for a week.

He's quite big size, quite handsome also, but not my type.

I only want him .. /:

My brother that time sees his picture and say he look like osama! LOL.

But real life he doesn't look like.

My brother asked me to introduce myself.

His name is Daniel, I think, I didn't really remember, neither do I heard it clearly.

I continue watch my show.

Until 7, prepared to go out.

Brother going out too, he asked me where I going.

I said Bugis and he stared at me and said, "Are you serious? 0.0"

By then I know he's going Bugis too.

We went, he meet his friend, I meet mine.

Yea, I met Jerrold.

We went to walk about, then went to buy koi.

My purpose of going bugis is cause of koi of cause. :D

Bought and then went to take mrt home.

I almost cried out, but I held back.

Home, talk to brother awhile, watch him surf for ipad cover.

He say he wanna buy ipad, but I don't know if he's serious. o.o

I climb up my bed, awhile later my parents came back home from malaysia.

Mother bought my favourite snack, I love her many many! (L)

The next day school reopens.

I wanted to sleep early, but yesterday night, I couldn't hold any longer.

I look through the messages he used to send me.

My tears, just flows out, eventually.

It just keeps flow and flow and flows.

Hugging the eeyore he gave me, looking at the keychain he gave me, the message he sent me.

Memories just flashback.

Last time when my phone rings, mostly is from him.

But now, none will be his.

I just miss everything about him.

The way he calls me baby.

The way he hugs me.

The way he tickles me.

The way he pampers me.

The way he sleeps next to me.

The way he cooks for me, feed me.

The way he always call me at night.

The way he ask me to sleep, remember cover blanket.

The way he says baby, iloveyou.

While I'm writing all these, my tears are flowing, and memories are coming back ..

I 10plus cried till 12plus, and I decided to stop and sleep.

Next morning I woke up at 5plus.

All along, I kept a so called 'dairy' of both of us.

Today is his birthday.

I wrote things in, I've so much to write, but I'm running out of time.

So I prepared and went to school.

I asked his sister to help me pass to him.

But I doubt he'll even bother to touch nor look at it.

Today school was, normal.

First lesson bio, Alvin asked me, "Eh, you and Yulun stead ah?"

I said no.

He keep pester me, keep ask me have anot.

All the way, my answer was, no.

In the past, I'll proudly say yes, but now, everything changes.

When I told my darling about I cried yesterday night, I almost cry, but I held back.

I've to hold back everything.

I know, cry out it's better than keeping inside.

Keeping inside only makes you feel more uncomfortable, bad.

He wanted me to suffer, I'll just listen to him ..

When it's 12pm, my friend said, "This timing I'll be home sleeping."

When I heard that, I thought to myself, "This timing I'll be at his house, hugging him."

I saw him two times today, but I didn't look at him.

I didn't dared, I didn't want to, even though I wanted to see him ..

After school and I came back home, wash my bag.

I use too much bleach, now my bag is white and pink colour, uneven. Lol.

I then came to use my brother's laptop to watch show.

I've two things I wanna say that's why I came to post.

Firstly, he removed me from facebook.

I don't know why.

He ownself tell me, "Be friends", and he removed me.

Like seriously, what have I done to deserve all these craps.

Now I know, it wasn't totally my fault.

He's not reponsible for his words and actions, not me.

I did everything I can, but no one appreciates it.

I just received a text from Hilda.

She said that bastard don't want to take it and his mother ask me to take it back cause it's mine.

Seriously, what's inside wasn't my things, it was all your fcuking beloved son's!

What's the fcuking problem with all these people.

Whatever I do, everyone takes me as a devil.

No one cares how I feel, no one cares about me at all.

Yea, some will say, "I care."

What's the meaning of care? It isn't just by using mouth to say it.

Sorry I offended some of you.

Yea, I'm just a loser, a failure, a bitch.

When I needed him the most, he left me.

I know, I couldn't make him stay, but it wasn't my choice isn't it!?

Whatever I do, is wrong and wrong and wrong and wrong and wrong, all the way!!

Don't you people know how it feels like being me?

Everyone thinks I'm cheerful, because I will joke with them.

But no one could ever sees through me, see through that I am actually not feeling any good inside ..

This anger in me is making me damn hurt seriously ..

I couldn't turn to anyone ..

No one being there for me ..

Everything just feel sucks to the max.

No one, no one would ever want to feel how I am feeling right now.

I feel like exploding! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRG!

Why, why must they all treat me this way ..

I'm going insane, soon ..............

"Never let 16th's fade away .."

In the end, he still lets it ...

I miss you ..